Being Confident

A lot of people have trouble being confident. There are so many things that lead to this. How many times have you watched someone walk past you and felt a twinge of jealousy, "I wish I was as confident and him/her!" I think everyone does it.

I want to tell you a secret. In fact, I think a lot of successful people know this secret. You can't either pay $20.95 to read it in their book or you can trust my (free) blog even though I'm not a celebrity. You don't have to believe me of course, but I think it will benefit you if you do.

The secret is that about 95% of being confident is just seeming confident. So you are feeling unconfident, maybe even uncomfortable or a little bit scared. Do you:

A) slump around trying to avoid notice and looking around warily out of fear of the people around you or the unfamiliar location?

B) hold your head high, walk like you do this every day, and approach people with polite assertiveness?

Most people will sheepishly admit to A. That's okay. I am totally guilty of it sometimes too, but one thing I have learned this past year is that B is the better option. Seem confident. I know you are scared. Being scared is okay. Everyone gets scared, even the world's most successful people.

Just remember that people percieve you as they see you. They do judge books by their covers. This doesn't mean go get plastic surgery to get rid of that mole you've always tried to hide. No, instead you need to say to yourself "this mole is a part of me, and people can take it or leave it!"

Now, next time you feel like you want to hide behind the door or pretend you are sick to get out of something instead say to yourself, "If I were a movie star and this was a movie scene, what would that look like?" Walk into that situation just as a movie star would confidently strut into a scene. Use your best movie star voice and speak confidently. Your insides will be churning the first few times, but you will soon see how differently people treat you. Congratulations! You have achieved the 95% which is seeming confident. The other 5% of being confident is just people believing you actually are confident and then treating you like they would treat a confident person. The way they treat confident people will help to boost your self-esteem until you don't actually have to pretend to be confident anymore, you'll actually feel thay way! (At least most of the time. As I said, even the most successful people still get scared sometimes!)